After realizing that the end of winter break is rapidly approaching, I found that I have not enjoyed much of my winter break this year.?! What did you say!!?
Yes, I did go to Las Vegas and accidentally spent and ate beyond my limits. BUT! I had an awesome time bonding with my siblings and spending time with my bunny.
However, New Years started off at a very disappointing beginning.
First off, my mother was sick. Apparently, I have had bronchitis for the past month or so in which I thought was just the common cold (with the addition of phlegm and chest pains here and there). Then, my mom caught it and started to have fevers and lack of energy.
Out of the 5 people left to help my mom, I was the only person to volunteer. Oh, the horror of just doing this out of my own will. I find after three straight days of visiting her room every hour, providing and buying her food every hour, and giving her medicine every hour, my mother and I have switched roles. I took care of her without taking care of myself.
Unfortunately, after she got better, she runs around yelling at me and my brothers for responsibilities that do not belong to us. Apparently, my mom shows absolutely no gratitude for what I did for her for the past couple of days. I don't know where my efforts traveled to in her mind. Maybe it just went in from one of her ears and out the other.
It just tears me apart that my mother doesn't treat me as a daughter. Instead, she burdens me and my siblings with weights that I cannot carry, expectations that I find that I have a hard time fulfilling, and scorns that only makes my responsibilities even harder to accomplish. Whenever I'm at home, I feel like a slave-driving machine that is not allowed to stop until my mother pushes the "stop button."
Despite the fact that I will gain some independence from college, I find that I will still have to come home every week and tolerate her nature and behavior. Through the hardships that I have at school and the responsibilities at home, I feel that I cannot turn to her for help. Instead, I sought others for sympathy and tears.
I cannot sleep, nor can I stop the tears of hopelessness that I can't do anything to change my parents and have them understand how much dedication we put just for the family. Now, I not only worry about the amount of work that I have for school (which I have barely touched), I have the tension of the amount of money I have and dealing with my parsimonious mother.
After receiving gifts from Christmas, I realized that all of them were not what I wanted anymore. None. All I want for Christmas is finding myself, getting time for myself, and seeking a job so I can support myself.
I'm not liking winter break, nor am I looking forward to school. To be honest, I'm not looking forward toward tomorrow anymore.
However, New Years started off at a very disappointing beginning.
First off, my mother was sick. Apparently, I have had bronchitis for the past month or so in which I thought was just the common cold (with the addition of phlegm and chest pains here and there). Then, my mom caught it and started to have fevers and lack of energy.
Out of the 5 people left to help my mom, I was the only person to volunteer. Oh, the horror of just doing this out of my own will. I find after three straight days of visiting her room every hour, providing and buying her food every hour, and giving her medicine every hour, my mother and I have switched roles. I took care of her without taking care of myself.
Unfortunately, after she got better, she runs around yelling at me and my brothers for responsibilities that do not belong to us. Apparently, my mom shows absolutely no gratitude for what I did for her for the past couple of days. I don't know where my efforts traveled to in her mind. Maybe it just went in from one of her ears and out the other.
It just tears me apart that my mother doesn't treat me as a daughter. Instead, she burdens me and my siblings with weights that I cannot carry, expectations that I find that I have a hard time fulfilling, and scorns that only makes my responsibilities even harder to accomplish. Whenever I'm at home, I feel like a slave-driving machine that is not allowed to stop until my mother pushes the "stop button."
Despite the fact that I will gain some independence from college, I find that I will still have to come home every week and tolerate her nature and behavior. Through the hardships that I have at school and the responsibilities at home, I feel that I cannot turn to her for help. Instead, I sought others for sympathy and tears.
I cannot sleep, nor can I stop the tears of hopelessness that I can't do anything to change my parents and have them understand how much dedication we put just for the family. Now, I not only worry about the amount of work that I have for school (which I have barely touched), I have the tension of the amount of money I have and dealing with my parsimonious mother.
After receiving gifts from Christmas, I realized that all of them were not what I wanted anymore. None. All I want for Christmas is finding myself, getting time for myself, and seeking a job so I can support myself.
I'm not liking winter break, nor am I looking forward to school. To be honest, I'm not looking forward toward tomorrow anymore.
