out of sight, out of mind

For the past week or so, I've been having the urge of writing an entry. However, as easily as I can just regurgitate my mind, I found it awfully hard to start the first word. Thus, I continued to put it off until my mind was annoyed by the thought of updating this blog. Is it any significant that I update at all with my jaded life full of the same routines? So far, I haven't found anything great in my life to mention at the least something to talk about.

I guess one thing that has been incessantly bothering my mind lately is the constant reminders or simply put, demands that my parents have been giving me. As polite as they want to be, they give me notions of ending my relationship. Sometimes, I can't help but think if that decision will really affect me for the better or worse.

Does that mean that if I don't get a 3.5 or higher at college that they have every reason to blame that my relationship was a factor?

Commitment is an awful word to fulfill.
Risk is a hard word that is hard to do.

Waterheater broke. That sucks.

attitude? better zip that mouth up.

Hate or appreciate are the two major thoughts that have been revolving around my tiny head this whole week. However, it's more as though I've received more of hate from others when I wish they would appreciate for what I do.

I'm not the kind of person who seeks drama as if it's something exciting (well, sometimes I do), but more like I try to avoid it as much as possible. Little did I know though I've ran into so much of this cursed high school drama this week that my body is physically and mentally wiped out and my eyes are puffing and burning every moment I blink.

I lost a friend because of his haughty ambitions. I had to confront a friend along with others with the problems that we had. Finally, I feel as though I'm not getting enough appreciation from my twin brothers for the things that I do for them.

Who would have known that these conflicts have fallen into the three catagories that are included in my life everyday: Extra curriculars, friendship, and family.

This week was just perfect. What can get worse?

i guess it was bad timing

下著雨讓濕氣稀釋回憶　我靠著你不出聲音
看著你看著斑駁的甜蜜　愛你困住你也困住我自己

我那躲也躲不掉的微妙傷口　隱隱作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜藉口　也讓我精神腐朽

說你愛我　變成一種問候
不如趁早放手　把愛墜落讓滿地鮮紅
說你愛我　變成一種折磨
不用陪我走到最後　我承擔不起你的承諾

I wish you could have said no that night, or shouldn't have asked her at all.
As much as I want to cry and just hold you tight in my arms, I have to suck it up and know that there is no turning back.
I really thought you were someone who I can always turn to and share moments with;
however, I wish I can just take everything back now.

Was I too naive to see it coming and slap me in the face? Was I too optimistic, thinking that everything was going to work out and that our feelings for each other will never be hindered or stopped by either of our choices?


I guess I was wrong. Though, I wish I wasn't.